In negotiation, as in life, my position on if it is appropriate to lie is a quite radical one. I believe that except under the direst circumstances, such as to avert a direct threat to someone’s life, it is never ok to lie.
Ever since I remember, I have valued honesty very highly. This has been further reinforced by me reading the book “Lying” by Sam Harris in my early high school years. Ever since then I have counted honesty to my core personal values and made “do not lie” to one of the core tenets of my actions.
I have a few reasons for my strong position on lying:
Firstly, lies are almost never beneficial in the long term. True, you may be able to momentarily escape a hard or awkward situation through a lie, but one way or another, it will always come back. Lies take effort to maintain. Once one is started, you often need to resort to further lies in order to protect the first one. And so, lie by lie, you build a house of cards that will eventually collapse.
Secondly, it is also a matter of your public image. A reputation must be built over years but can be destroyed in seconds. And once a reputation for honesty is destroyed, or people are aware that you tend to lie, it is hard, if not impossible, to fully repair it again.
Thirdly, there is also the personal perspective. I live by the credo, that “every action you take is a vote for the type of person you wish to become”. If you lie, you cast a clear vote for who you are. You show to yourself that you are the type of person who cannot face hard truths and conversations, that you value your personal comfort over honest relationships with others, that you harm long-term gains in favor of short term benefits, and that your ego is too fragile to handle a harsh conversation. In short, you are a liar. And lying also builds a habit. If you lie once, you are more likely to lie in the future as well.
This hardline position also extends to negotiations. In fact, staying honest might be even more important in negotiations than in day-to-day life. Negotiations essentially have the goal of reaching a consensus between two parties. This is reached when both believe they are gaining sufficient benefit from the negotiated outcome. If you lie, and it comes out later, the other party will not see it as a fair deal anymore. Even if the lie itself never gets uncovered, the misconceptions that follow from the lie can cause negative consequences later on.
In some cases, you may think you will never deal with the other party again, but as Chris Voss, former FBI hostage negotiator, states: “There is no such thing as a one-off. They are going to be people that stay in your world one way or another, either your day to day life or they will see you again.” The possibility and risk of meeting the other party again is far too great.
I would also not change my position if the result of the negotiation was protected by legal regulations, as your reputation as a negotiator is still tarnished if you lie.
While outright lying is almost never appropriate, bluffing can sometimes be. In my opinion, the core question to ask is “can it be proven I was lying?”. Plausible deniability, the ability to convincingly argue you did not know better, can protect you from a lot of the consequences of lying. The omission of facts, or slightly misleading statements, can be powerful in negotiations but should be used very sparingly as overuse can lead to the same negative consequences as outright lying.
To sum it up, if you live by the credo “do not lie”, your life will be easier and happier in the long run. This extends into all areas of life, even business negotiations.
Sources:
Clear, J. (2018). Atomic Habits: An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones. USA: Avery.
Harris, S. (2013). Lying. USA: Four Elephants Press.
Talks at Google (2016). Never Split the Difference | Chris Voss | Talks at Google. . Available at: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=guZa7mQV1l0 [Accessed 27.6.2020]